World economy implodes, as does Redjacket's defense

[November 3, 1929]

The world economy may have completely imploded earlier this week, but several hundred people still rallied to Nicollet Park in Minneapolis to watch the first-place Green Bay Packers decimate the hopeless Redjackets like an inflated market built entirely upon excessive borrowing and rampant speculation.

Minneapolis fans believed the Redjackets could succeed on the field, despite stagnant offensive production over their previous four quarters and a defense that was piling up high-interest debt at alarming rates.

Despite the thrashing, Redjackets ownership intends to pump extra capital into the team this week to demonstrate their confidence in the team's future contests.

Investors seem wary, and they should be. This team is highly unstable and will be lucky to stay in the NFL going forward.

Game notes from the press box:

Welcome to week eight of the roaring 1929 NFL season. The Packers traveled by powerful unstoppable steam locomotive across this great land, arriving right on schedule, unimpeded, here in Minneapolis, perfect record intact, no end in sight to the prolific scoring and strong foundational defense that certainly portend unrivaled success and an unlimited capacity for heroic exceptional-ism. We are truly living in a golden age. The future is bright.

Huzzah! I say, Huzzah! The Packers keep thriving against all signs of a sure and pending regression to the mean. Johnny Blood whips a a few smooth passes to Red Dunn and the Packers reap the bounty. 6-0 Packers.

Extra point kick fails, as will the Smoot-Hawley Tariff Act, if we are all very fortunate.

Verne Lewellen has been kicking the ball with exceptional force today, soaring several punts well beyond 60 yards. If I were a savvy investor I would be he kicks the next one 90 yards!

Third period now, Herb Joesting punches in a score from one yard out, Redjackets tie this one up, 6-6.

Guy next to me in the press box says he has a hot tip on some tasty hot dog investments. Asked to borrow a nickel. Says he'll be back shortly with two hot-dogs and fifty nickels. Looks like my lucky day.

Red Dunn breaks the tie at the start of the fourth with a haughty 25-yard field goal. Green Bay leads 9-6. What a dandy!

The rich keep getting richer, Lavvie Dilweg passes deep to Lewellen for a touch-down, and the Packers now lead 16-6. Another win on the field and against the spread. Butter that bacon and double down with your neighborhood sports-book next week! Ha-cha-cha.

Packers Book Club quote of the week:

"It's all nonsense. It's only nonsense. I'm not afraid of the rain. I'm not afraid of the rain. Oh, oh, God, I wish I wasn't." She was crying. I comforted her and she stopped crying. But outside it kept on raining.

-Farewell to Arms