So these are the lunatics we’ll be cheering for this year, eh dear readers? I was relaxing a bit on Saturday and figured I’d review the 2008 Packers Roster. Below you’ll find all 53 gentlemen who’ll be sporting the Green and Gold on opening night against the Vikings, listed by jersey number. I’ve included a note or two on each of ‘em for your enjoy-ment. Enjoy.
2 Mason Crosby K
True story: My buddy Gary met Mason at a shopping mall in Colorado. He said he was polite.
6 Derrick Frost P
Who the heck? Even I think Ted Thompson may have goofed up on this move. Geesh.
10 Matt Flynn QB
The better rookie QB. He’s got something, this one.
11 Brian Brohm QB
Looks lost. Bring back Doug Peterson. I’m sure he’s got his clip-board ready.
12 Aaron Rodgers QB
Alright, Big Man. Your time has come. I’m optimistic.
20 Atari Bigby S
The Human Cannonball. One of my favorite Packers, no doubt.
21 Charles Woodson CB
Will he ever win a big game? The clock is ticking for this talented veteran.
22 Pat Lee CB
Hey Pat, wanna hang out sometime? Shoot me an email. I’ll take you muskie fishing.
24 Jarrett Bush CB/S
Yellow flag magnet. Clean it up, kid.
25 Ryan Grant RB
General Grant will be the center-piece of our assault on the NFC North.
26 Charlie Peprah S
I’ll take an interception with extra cheese and Peprah-oni. Zing!
27 Will Blackmon CB
Bold prediction: Blackmon will have more Punt Return TDs than Devin Hester. Double Zing!
28 Kregg Lumpkin RB
Extra Gs = Extra Tough.
30 John Kuhn FB
Just doing his thing*, quietly and efficiently. *- Lead Blocking.
31 Al Harris CB
See #21, Charles Woodson.
32 Brandon Jackson RB
Just keeps getting better. We’ll see more of him this year, for sure.
35 Korey Hall FB
See #30, John Kuhn.
36 Nick Collins S
I like him, but do I like him better than Rouse? It’s good to have depth.
37 Aaron Rouse S
The kid makes plays, plain and simple.
38 Tramon Williams CB
He could start on most other teams. This one’s a keeper.
50 A.J. Hawk LB
Get well, Mr. Hawk. Did you get the card I sent?
51 Brady Poppinga LB
Just cover that Tight End, Brady.
54 Brandon Chillar LB
“The Indian Thriller.” Solid addition.
55 Desmond Bishop LB
This Bang-Tail only has one speed: Hyper-hyper.
56 Nick Barnett LB
And your starting Middle Linebacker for the NFC Pro Bowl team is… Nick Barnett.
57 Jason Hunter DE
I’ve got to be honest, folks. I have never even heard of this guy. I’m ashamed.
59 Tracy White LB
Special Teams Ace. He’s like the Red Baron of special teams.
61 Brett Goode LS
Me to #61: “Be Good.”
63 Scott Wells C
Inspired famous documentary entitled “Born to Hike.”
65 Mark Tauscher T
No worries here. Rock solid.
68 Breno Giacomini T
This kid’s got some Amazon in him. I don’t know what that means, but is sounds tough.
71 Josh Sitton G
If Josh owned a pet shop, it would be called “Sitton’s Kittens and so forth.”
72 Jason Spitz G/C
President and founder of the “Society of Packer Jasons” – Perhaps he can help me with #57.
73 Daryn Colledge G/T
The Zone Blocking Professor.
74 Aaron Kampman DE
I often call my pick-it-up truck “My Kampman” because it is so consistent and speedy.
75 Tony Moll G/T
Mole’s kind of creep me out. Both kinds.
76 Chad Clifton T
Leadership on the line. He’s the glue.
77 Cullen Jenkins DE
Versatile and mean. He’s at his finest right now.
78 Allen Barbre G
I’d like to attend a Barbre-Q with Allen and have a steak eating contest.
79 Ryan Pickett DT
Ryan Pickett can come over too. I bet he can eat a few steaks or six.
80 Donald Driver WR
Will once again lead the Packers in receptions and air yardage. One of my favorites.
82 Ruvell Martin WR
Like the size, like the results. One of the main reasons our WR unit is so deep.
84 Tory Humphrey TE
I bet this guy is a model rocket enthusiast. Just a hunch.
85 Greg Jennings WR
My favorite Packer. Every day I wake up I say to myself, Be more like Greg Jennings.
86 Donald Lee TE
You know who’s a dynamic Tight End? Donald Lee, that’s who.
87 Jordy Nelson WR
Probably going to need a year to make a real impact.
88 Jermichael Finley TE
Same with this speedy fellow.
89 James Jones WR
When he gets well, he’ll improve our passing attack by a bunch.
90 Colin Cole DT
Who needs a Corey Williams when you’ve got a Colin Cole? This guy is good like a big sandwich with extra horse-radish.
94 K. Gbaja-Biamila DE
Is he worth the price-tag? Look for a big year from KGB.
96 Michael Montgomery DE
Don’t call him Monty. Trust me.
97 Johnny Jolly DT
Just another solid member of a deep defensive line. Hopefully he doesn’t get suspended.
99 Jeremy Thompson DE
Thompson moved up to draft this kid. Expect big things in the future.
