The biggest winner

Living Legend Brett Favre hit the first of several major mile-stones on the young season’s horizon with his 149th career victory as a starting quarterback last week, making him – officially and super-flously – the NFL’s biggest winner. As if we all didn’t know that already. This record, of course, merely counts regular-season victories as a measure of winning. We Packers fans on the other hand measure our players’ successes using a far more complex and mysterious equation that digs to the heart of a man’s character like some demon garden mole with steel incisors. In order to determine whether or not a player is ‘a winner,’ Packers fans ask deep questions such as: “Would I like to share a bucket of cheese curds with this player?” “Can this player make folks fall out of their rocking-seats simply by watching him play on the television-set?” and, “Will I catch more fish if I wear this player’s jersey beneath my wool bibs?”
On all of these counts, Mr. Favre earns high marks. And so we labeled him The Biggest Winner back on January 26, 1997, as the confetti sprinkled down from the enclosed skies of New Orleans. And so on, and so on, each time he does something marvelous or insane.
The best part about this official record is that he bested John Elway. Not that Elway’s a bad fellow, but I will never forget the heart-ache delivered upon my soul when the Packers managed to not win the Super Bowl in 1998 against the Broncos of Denver.
Before we move on, I’d like to offer one last indication of how amazing this winning record really is – By the end of the season Brett Favre will have about the same amount of wins as Bart Starr if you count Starr’s wins as a Starting Quarterback and as a Head Coach. He will also have about double the passing yards, however, which is an indication of how much the game has changed.
So aside from the new record, what else happened on Sunday?
Well, for starters, the Giants might have the worst secondary this side of Pluto, which helps explain Frank Walker’s cata-wampus effort since we signed him as a free agent this spring. Their Linebackers in particular were about as dismal as a wagon of fog, looking like our own Brady Poppinga last season.
Mr. Poppinga sure has shaped up though. He and the defense have been the talk of the Television Bobble-Heads since shutting down the Eagle Birds in week one, and for now, the talk seems justified.
But we’ll have a real test next week against the Saint Diego Super-Chargers and their electric talent. The only reason we have a chance here against a squad that went 14-2 last season is that the game is at home. Unfortunately, the Super-Chargers just got done getting embarrassed on National Television, so I imagine they’re looking to unleash a few spoon-fuls of fury.
I am worried about our pass rush, as it seems like we are giving the opponent too much time. Phillip Rivers might be a young whipper-snapper, but he’ll shred even our fine five-cent package if given enough time. I hope to see more blitzing from Mr. Sanders to remedy the situation. Even still, you can’t argue with winning so I’ll just keep my trap shut and get on with the predictions: I might be crazy or simply blinded by my Green and Gold spectacles, but I am calling for a 3-0 start to the season, dear readers. When you’re on a roll, you’re on a roll – Saint Diego 20, Green Bay 21.
Until next week, then.