Let me tell you folks a thing or two about omens. One, I’m a firm believer in them. Two, they are crazy weird.
So I had me an omen, or at the very least, a vision, about an hour before kick-off last Thursday, which put my mind at ease.
I was watching the weather report before heading out to the local speak-easy. As you might recall, it was a generally crappy evening - rainy and foggy and ... well, un-wintry. Anyhoo, the weather puppet directed my attention to the radar-beam-scope, which was showing the precipitation. The storm, tracking north, was a wavering jumble of whites and grays mixed against a smattering of purple and a sloppy mess of greens and golds. To the average viewer, I’m sure this dis-com-bobbery looked like a bunch of snow and sleet and rain. But no, dear readers, this was an omen.
The greens and golds, wetness from the atmosphere, was the Packers. The puny sliver of purple being pushed around with a fury of barometric brutality, was the Viqueens. As the storm pushed north, envig-o-rating the state, I could see the future: Victory number seven, and a radar-beam of hope.
And so I toasted my first pint with confidence. Sure, the game didn’t go as smoothly as the pitter-patter of a December rainstorm, but the omen was right. It was crazy weird, but I’ve learned over the years to trust in the para-normal.
Now, to the game.
Those defensive monsters sure did it again, and one play really sums up the continued progressive of this oft-humbled unit.
With roughly 5 minutes and 30 some odd seconds left in the third quarter - a quarter I’d just as soon forget - Mr. A.J. Hawk moved down the line in order to stuff up a Viqueens run play. It looked as if the purple-laden back was going to gain the necessary yardage, but suddenly, Mr. Hawk performed a bit of shape-shifting magic.
Number 50 turned into a large granite boulder, and the unfortunate running back got thrown backwards with the force of two-thousand ancient pounds of stone. It was a powerful statement, an impressive showing of strength from our rookie linebacker. That running back literally looked as though he’d run straight into a boulder. Check the VHS. Overall, the defensive effort was amazing, pitching a season-first shutout against one of our most disgusting rivals.
Huzzah.
Anyways, the offense did just enough to win, although we should have won by a lot more. And COME ON BUBBA! He must’ve been abducted by talent-sucking aliens or something. Just un-explainable.
Well, I am glad to get the win, and keep the playoffs a slim possibility, but I really hope it wasn’t the last for our aging war-horse - Mr. Brett Favre.
I think he’s got one more solid year in the tank, and I fully expect a return. As for next week, and the rest of this potential season, I’ll be looking for more omens and hoping for a stronger showing offensively.
The Bears will probably play their starters for the first half, but their minds are elsewhere - like “How can we possibly lose another first round playoff game this year?”
Packers - 20, Bears - 13. Bonus losers - Giants, Falcons and Rams.
Hoping you and yours all had a Merry Christmas and a very nice New Year coming up.Until next week, then.
F.G., circa 1929
