Keep winning, you bangtails

Well, maybe my ‘no playoff’ call was a tad pre-mature. Apparently the mathematicians still have us in the running, although I’d be mighty surprised if we were to pull that amazing feat off, even if we win out, which is do-able now that the Bears have locked up the home-field advantage voucher.
Some have called last week’s victory over the kittens an “ugly” one. Which it was. If we were playing anyone else, it likely would have been dooms-day. Still, you have to hand it to the defense, which did a spec-tac-ular job, especially up front. What some behemoths! Welcome to the starting line-up, Mr. Jenkins, you rascalious bang-tail.
Much as I respect KGB, it seems the new configuration is working like a well-oiled Swiss gizmo.
And how about those lanky speedsters on the corners?
This humble columnists has no problem campaigning for Pro-Bowl invitations on behalf of Mr. Harris and Mr. Woodson. Like anything in the sporting world and else-wise, it always helps when you have a talented professional to offset and compliment your swift person.
As usual over the past few years, Mr. Harris simply erased the opposing team’s most dangerous wide-out - in this case, one Roy Williams, who was over-heard jabbing the jaw prior to the coinflippery. Sounds good to me. Old smack-talk McPoodle backed up his fool-hearted gibberish with a one catch day (in zone coverage). Congratulations, Mr. Williams, on that effort.
Before I get off the defensive unit, praise be deserved for the rest of the fellows, as well. Especially for keeping the kitties out of the end-zone, repeatedly, and for minimizing the damage caused by a flurry of usually-costly turnovers.
Well, it wouldn’t be a Meat-Packers Union Post Detroit column if we didn’t have a chuckle or sixteen on behalf of the pathetic, pathetic kitties.
Man, is Matt Millen the worst General Manager in the history of the league? Probably. Heck, I’d go so far as to guarantee it. It is a wonder that he is still employed in the football business. A wonder!
Goodness grief.
And for cripes sakes, are the kittens trying to sign each and every fathead quarterback they can find? Maybe I should just thank Mr. Kitna for making our secondary look so proficient.
Lastly, I think it was a marvelous idea to run a quarterback sneak - twice - on third and long when in scoring position. Brilliant.
Al-right then. Even with the poor performance on offense, we get to once again proclaim the greatness of Number Four, who passed Pretty “Tan” Marino as the NFL’s all-time leader passer, on a laser-beam hook-up to ... Carlyle Holiday (?). I guess. Anyhoo, coming up next - the record for Touchdowns and Interceptions. Hoo-ray!
Lordy! Time for the big finish!
Coming up on Thursday we host the Viqueens on the NFL Network, which my Cousin Walter doesn’t get on the cable feed. Looks like we’ll have to take a stroll over to the corner tavern and have ourselves a few oat sodas ‘round the ol’ satellite dish. Hello, moon-creatures!
Christmas comes early in Title-town: Viqueens - 14, Packers - 28.
May you burn the Yule-log brightly, dear readers. Have yourselves a merry Christmas and an extra slice of pie.Until next week, then.