Strange vortex puts things in perspective

What in the heck is with this team folks? They start like a bolt of lightening and then shut it down for a few quarters, and then finish with a spectacular flurry. And there are still the penalties through and through. All these yellow flags are making me a bit queasy, if not down-right irritable. With only a few weeks to go, the team remains a mystery to me. I am not sure whether or not they are real or a mirage.

But how much can I really gripe? We're at 9-4. We've won five in a row now. A trip to the post-season seems pretty likely. Et Cetera.

I can't go another sentence without mentioning the mysterious blue spiral that appeared over the skies of Norway last week. This hypnotic sky siren has me more confused than the Packers erratic play. Just as the Packers offense can go from looking unstoppable to lousy on the flip of an imaginary switch, this haunting and spooky spiral vortex appeared and vaporized in a few odd minutes near the city of Tromso. I can't stop digging for clues on either of these mysteries, dear readers. It's one thing to investigate why energy levels seem to fluctuate from series to series when watching the Pack, but quite another to speculate as to the source of this horrible portal to another dimension.

I know the official word is that a Ruskie submarine lobbed a defective missile into the White Sea like a Jay Cutler duck, but look at the pictures and tell me that don't sound fishy. It does. I started poking around a little bit yesterday and although there are several wacky theories circulating around the globe, I like this one the best: The EISCAT Scientific Association just happens to operate a facility near the city of Tromso that involves research into the ionosphere, including "ionospheric heating," which can produce artificial aurora borealis - that is, fake Northern Lights. Now who in the heck knows why they would want to do that? I am sure there is a good reason to better understand how the particles of the ionosphere behave, and how that upper-level of the atmosphere dances with the sun's radiation, but how does projecting a dizzying blue spiral over the night sky help that cause? You got me there, folks. There certainly are some loony theories on that question floating around the tubes.

So I don't know horse about high altitude plasma reactivity or electromagnetic pulses or the ionosphere, but I am fascinated by this story. I guess it helps to think about big ideas like this when you find your-self frustrated by the relatively simple game of football. At least I can point to poor coaching as a highly likely cause of so many penalties. While Ronnie Rodger's arm may be classified as a dangerous weapon, I can safely say that his excellent second season as a starter will in no way bring about the rise of advanced atmospheric weaponry or the New World Order.

Looking ahead to next weekend, we have another solid test on the road against the former Champion Pittsburgh Steelers. They will not be re-peating this season, dear readers, and they may have just lost to the Raiders and the Browns, but I am still expecting a tough battle. I will have more on this match-up in my preview column later this week, but I do like our chances. More than anything, I just want some proof that the team can play consistently cleaner for 60 minutes. That's all.

And I would also like to know whether ionospheric heating could produce a galactic hot wing that could entice the taste buds and send the taste-tester to another dimension. Think about it, folks. It could be monumental!

Until next time,