Make that defense sizzle

I realize Ted Thompson isn't one to go fishing in the free agent lake, as a general tactic, but that's not entirely accurate (Woodsen), and a few things are different this year: Mainly, he needs a winning record or it could be Good-Bye-GB for Teddy and crew.
I was talking with the fellows on the ice last weekend while looking for sturgeon, spear in hand. It's too early to start with the draft talk (well for me any-ways), so of course we were talking about sturgeon good luck charms and Sequence strategy and what free agents we'd like to see come to Green Bay.
Immediately I said we need to look into Mr. Terrell Suggs from Baltimore. By nephew pipes up, his eyes get real big, and he says: So you want the Tee-Sizzle, FG?!? I'd had a few PBR's and was probably a little goofy from the phantom ice energy, so I jumped up from my seat and did a little dance and said, Oh yes, Oh yes, youngster, gimee some Tee-Sizzle!
He explained it was Mr. Suggs' snappy nick-name.
I really must be getting old, dear readers. Now I have heard of mixing sprite and gin together and calling that a 'Pine Sizzle'. It's a damned fine drink. It also carries with it's consumption a great deal of Sturgeon Luck.
But, heck, if that is what the kids are saying these days, then by all means, I hope Ted makes that Defense Sizzle!
Now it ain't gonna be cheap. I hear Baltimore is considering 'franchising' him, so it might even cost us a draft pick and a boat-load of money, but we've got some cap room. Make it happen. That's what I say.
For starters we've got Kampman, Barnett and Hawk. T-Sizzle plays the Right Outside Line-Backer position, which would fit perfectly in that unit. We'd also have Brady Poppinga and "The Hindu Thriller" Chillar as back-ups. Or we could stick Chillar in there and you could call them "The Chillar and The Sizzlar." Or just "Chill and Sizz." Ha cha cha. I just came up with that and it sure rings true. Yep.
So there you have it folks. Sturgeon fishing isn't just sitting on ice looking down a murky hole. Nope. We do some serious thinking out there. One of these years we might actually see an ancient fish swim up to our decoys. Who knows. One of these years Ted Thompson might quit being such a cheap-skate. Stranger things have happened. I saw a UFO on Winnebago once. But that's a story for another column.
Until next time, then.