20081030

Fantasy G. Unions - In a slump

Well, dear readers, I don't know why I thought it would be a good idea to start a fancy fantasy football feature on this-here website. Sure, joining this league and keeping up-to-date on the happenings and going-ons of the NFL has broadened my understanding and know-ledge of the game, but it has also caused me many moments of anger and frust-rations. I think I probably will play again next year, if only to seek redemption from the spiraling horrors of 2008's squad, but I doubt I will publish my struggles to the world public. Neh. Humiliation does not sit well with your humble columnist.

Week nine of the season finds the beleaguered Fantasy G. Unions amidst a three-game losing streak. I'm afraid I've drafted a wagon-full of bums! Bums!!!

Let us review my draft board and have a chuckle, shall we? There is nothing else that can be done, dear readers...

1 - Tom Brady - Out for season with injury (week one)
2 - Braylon Edwards - Bum
3 - Brandon Jacobs - A mighty beast, but inconsistent.
4 - Santonio Holmes - Under-achieving reefer-headed hooligan
5 - Maurice Jones Drew - inconsistent, traded for Calvin Johnson, who has been OK.
6 - Reggie Bush - Played well, but now injured
7 - Chris Cooley - Bum!
8 - Joey Galloway - Bum! And injured!
9 - Willie Parker - Injured
10 - Nate Burleson - Out for season with injury (week one)
11 - Chris Johnson - My best draft pick by far

I'm not going to go into the rest of my picks. I did get the Tampa Bay defense in round 13, and they have been pretty decent.

I tell you, folks, it's amazing we got 3 wins this season with rascals like these.
My only hope is that these bums will turn it around to sneak into the playoffs, but I fear they're just bums and I am stuck with them. Any-hoo, unless you've got Chris Johnson, you can bench the rest of the afore-mentioned bums. They are no good.

Until next time, then.