20061109

Shooting one self in the face

Nothing better symbolized the Packers’ most recent clobbering by an inferior opponent better than the lost fumble in the Red Zone in the final moments of the first half. Unfortunately, good readers, the moment proved both downright hilarious and a sign of sorrier things to come. I am talking, of course, about Brett Favre taking a shot-gun hike to the face.
Not that getting blasted in the face by a scatter-gun is some sort of laughing matter or anything. Neither are red zone turnovers. And neither is losing, for that matter. But, if you’re going to have a four-turnover day on the road, you might as well chalk one up to the old copper dropper forehead bopper.
You know?
Well, after I saw that I figured we had about as much a chance of beating the Hot Wings on Sunday as the Republicans had of holding the house. And it turns out I’m one intuitive cookie. The second half was a sloppy mess and the elephants took one on the chin or lip or whatever pachyderms have on the lower facial region.
Anyhoo.
Might I propose a change in the NFL’s statistical book-keeping?
Interceptions should be categorized into two separate families, in my eyes. Those that are tipped off a receivers hands should count more as a fumble than an interception, I think. If this were the case, Brett’s career totals would simply plummet.
And speaking of leaky faucets, what in the world has become of dear old Bubba Franks? Seems our Pro-Bowl tight end is no longer fit for pass reception duty, and this, only a few years after he was known league-wide as a deadly weapon in the end-zone. What a shame! I must give old Bubba credit, however, for his tough as nails blocking skills, which are still impecable. Although Mr. Frank’s fortunes seem on the down-turn, the story of one Greg Jennings appears heading in the opposite direction. Up, up and holy smokes!
This rookie phenomenon made what has got to be one of the finest grabs I have ever witnessed, last week, all the while rambling down the right flank with a bum wheel. I have been razzing this kid all season with the compliment-ary treatment, but I cannot say enough about the potential number 85 brings to the field. He will be a great player, and a strong-boned candidate for Rookie of the Year. Mark it.
OK, well I’ve put this next nugget off long enough.
With the loss in Buffalo, this old columnist must look beyond his rosy spectacles into the looking glass of truth. Yepper. Our playoff hopefull-ness, as we know it, has too, probably suffered a near fatal blast of steely buckshot to the face. Ain’t it strange how all these things run together? Although the season is now far from over, it looks to me that we will be lucky to finish at .500. Check that – it will be a bona-fide miracle.
Anyways, I still feel good about our trip into the purple pansy palace next week. If we can figure out a way to get the running game back on track against a solid interior defense, we should come out ahead, and feeling good once again. Green Bay - 20, Viqueens - 14.
Until next week, then.