Well, there’s no getting around this sad fact, fellow Packers fans:
We’ve been put in our place. And that place ain’t pretty, neither – the bottom half of the league. So now we can begin the process of grieving and coming to our senses. We aren’t going to the playoffs this year. No miracle run for Brett, at least this season. No dramatic turnaround. No revival in cheesehead country this winter.
Nope, the team stinks this year, as has been suspected for some time now by almost everyone outside of the Muskellunge State.
Although we were supposedly “hot” during the past month or so, it seems that the anti-quality of those opponents was indeed a factor in the success of said phantom streak. Turns out they were fatheads all along. If we were going play well down the stretch, if we were going to have a chance at any real success this year, we would have at least shown up against the proven Patriots and their snazzy slickster quarterback, Mr. Brady. The Patriots, my cousin Walter says, are not fatheads like us, but hearty golden shiners.
As I sat on the davenport Sunday, thinking of the upcoming ice-fishing season, I had to agree with him on that assessment. We looked lousy and they looked luminescent. Or maybe one or the other was magnifying the latter. (If that makes any sense ... even I’m not sure at this moment.)
Anyways, it was a good afternoon to do a bit of widdling and to eat on some of the wife’s finest chili batch and to generally feel glum in the sun like a somber turtle. Heck, I’d rather lose in that fashion than by having a dag-gummed turnover on the five with time winding down.
I guess it’s about time I got to the real story, though.
I’m sure I wasn’t alone in holding my breath for the duration of the second half, Sunday, as our great Brett Favre sat on the bench with what was later termed a roughed up funny-bone. Excuse me, folks, but there’s nothin’ funny about this situation.
Especially with the way Mr. Rodgers led the deflated offensive unit through the third and fourth. Sweet sugar beets!
Anyhoo, the funny bone is connected to the hand bone, the finger bone and apparently, the completion bone, too. Maybe Brett actually dinged up his canon while sighting in his hunting scope on Saturday. That would explain his bizarre consistency problems in the first half. Ol’ Brett looked like a thumb-less marmot whipping ice-cubes at a ham-steak out there. Seriously. That was one of the worst performances I’ve ever seen from Number Four. Let’s hope the healing fairy pays him, and the whole team, a visit this week. Maybe we should send a call out to the running game fairy, the secondary fairy and the home-field advantage fairy, while we’re at it.Well, it’s off to Seattle next Monday for another tough matchup against a team that is just now getting healthy. Probably going to be a tough one, though. Still, we play better on the road these days than in the friendly confines of Lambeau. So long as Brett returns, we should have somewhat of a shot if we’re lucky. Green Bay - 14, Seattle - 13.
F.G., circa 1929
