Gimpy, down-trodden and just gettin' started

The sky is falling. It landed on shed number two out back this morning. Blew that poor shed to smithereens, bent the hell outta my nice rake, and spil't gas-o-line all over the place, which promptly found ignition (Glory Be!) and charred my poor dogwood shrubbery like a marshy-mallow.

The clatter and concussions of energy scar't Mooney so that she dropped a sheet of fresh deviling-eggs on the kitchen floor. Quite the mess, that was. I was down in the work-shop listening to some polka albums and widdlin' when the commotion erupted, an I nearly fel't off my stool. Would've, too, if it weren't for my cat-like reflexes, Dear Readers. After I gathered myself I got out the garden hose and drowned that poor shed and the shrubs until they was nothin' more than a heap of ashes. Guess I got a spot for the kiddie pool next summer, eh?

I've had this down-trodden cloud all around me this week. You know the one. She be gloomy and col't, persistent, always asking for more and more, un-satiable, terribly criminal. Kicking us all as we're down. The good heart has not been with us here in Packer-land this autumn.

But so what. Gather your-selves. Pour a hot cup of coffee.

When the sky begins to storm don't get so worked up. Here's a trick I lear't in the 1700s when I was fur-tradin: When you get caught in your own trap, or some other un-savory device of modern society or the wild, go ahead and ask your-self, Will this be up-setting in five years? Or will it be a good story to tell the neighbor-folk? And there you go. The sky is not falling. This is not a serious injury, no! It's an adorable kitten wearing a pink cast (commemorating breast cancer awareness month). We're just getting started.

The Packers return to Lambeau Field this weekend, and by golly if it ain't perty'rthan all get-out out there, my oh my. Don't you folks worry now, we're gonna smack them Dolphins up-side the beaks on Sunday. I wouldn't go swimming in the Green Bay there Dolphins! Whoa, Lord no! The muskies will tear you flipper-to-flipper, and if the muskies don't getcha, BJ Raji will! Think about it.

It won't surprise me none if the offense suddenly has the day we've all been suspecting, now that we're suspectin' it least. Gimme some more of that Ewok running back, Coach, and give me some of them slant passes I used to love so much. And then when they finally start creepin' up and sniffin' around the line, heels hot, that's when we'll un-leash the deep strike. Presto!

Well it seems a good after-noon for splittin' wood, so let's Mark It: Dolphins 20, Packers 21 in a thriller to turn the season right-side-up. Until next time, then,