Somehow, cheese resists melting in tropics

I might be what some may call a connoisseur of cheeses. Not in the fancy Franco type of way, mind you, but rather, a connoisseur of the people’s cheeses - string cheese, cheese curds, cottage cheese, motz sticks, cheese spreads and the like. One of my favorite types of cheese is Nacho Cheese, or really, any type of cheese which can be easily melted and dipped into or drank straight from the jar. On average, I probably consume about nine pounds of cheese a week. And that is a conservative estimate, by my delicious count.
Anyways ... what’s the point? Huh? Well, it is this: I know meltable cheeses better than most, and even though I never lose faith in The Green and Gold, I was starting to think our team was going to turn into a puddle of liquified cheddar after the first half in that hot Miami sun tropical. Yikes.
Did you see that air-conditioning octopus sucking on Brett’s face in the third quarter? Geesh. You know what I’m saying.
Hot. H-O-T.
Heck, I was getting steamy about the neck and face just watching that contest. And mind you, this was only a short moment after scraping ice crystals from the windshield of my pick-up. But enough about the heat, I guess. The important thing is that those youngsters kept their play solid beneath the Evergladian sun and got themselves a much-needed victory. Huzzah!
Seems like every week the play of the offensive line has been getting better, and hold the telegraph machine, folks - yepperoo - there were three rookies scrapping in the trenches up there. Sure, our friend Mr. Colledge of the Northlands had himself a squirrely start, but what improvement! After that Ahman Green touchdown run I turned to my cousin Walter and I said: “Say, Walter, what in the sugar beets is going on here?”
“Well, it looks as though we have what some might call a running game,” said Walter.
“Well, I’ll be.”
Strange how the mind works on the rocky road to recovery, eh?
The defense looked halfway decent again, too, coming up with a hat-trick of inter-ceptions. This, however, wasn’t much of a surprise for myself. I have long backed Joey Harrington as one of the worst quarterbacks the league has ever seen. Same goes for his teammate, Derelict Cullpepper. No matter who they started, I figured we’d be winning the turnover margin.
Additionally, the run defense worked splendidly. Good stuff all around. The result of which, was this chipper columnist drinking a vat of bubbling Gouda and dancing around the den without any slippers on. No joking, folks. Slippers removed!
Ha-cha-cha. H-O-T.
Well, not much to talk about next week. The Cardinals, after much anticipation and expectation, have fallen flat on their rosy faces. It’s too bad that the Green Grocer, Kurt Warner, isn’t playing anymore - he’s right up their on my crappy QB charts, too. Still, with Denny Green’s classically sub-par leadership, the Packers on the upswing and the possibility of snow, I’d say we’re about ready for our first Lambeau Field victory of the season. Cardinals - 7, Packers - 27.
Until next week, then.